7 days sober.
Back to work today and feel v drained after just 1 day of it! Definitely think work is the number 1 cause of me acting out so I need to bear that in mind and try to chill out. Going to my 3rd 12 step meeting tomorrow. Really think going to these meetings in person is taking my recovery to the next level and that they are a really essential part of any sexual addiction recovery programme.

Last 2 nights I got back in the habit of recording my OCD fixations and I need to keep that habit going. Just to give you a flavour of how riddiculous my OCD fixations are my current one is that somebody got me a Christmas present last year which I didn't have any use for. My OCD is making me feel frustrated and sad that they spent money on something I didn't like or have any use for. And this is something that happened last Christmas! As I've said in this blog before, the fixations aren't logical and it always changes to something else every 1-6 days but the OCD is what's consistent. Well some days the OCD anxiety level is higher than others (sometimes it's actually quite low).

Anyway, as part of the changes I'm making since my last relapse, I am now doing 30 mins recovery and OCD work on days when I don't have 12 step meetings (and 40 mins on Sunday).
Praying for another sober day tomorrow! One day at a time!

RR 100%
6 days sober
Sloppy that I didn't make an entry in this yesterday. I did go to a 12 step meeting yesterday, my 2nd one which is fantastic. Once again, found the experience very positive and inspiring. Plan is to go to 2 meetings a week (Tuesday and Saturday). Had a lie in today and did a few things on my to do list. Also took a run and did some weights. Hope everyone is doing well.

Jeff

RR 100%
4 days sober

Relieved and happy that the weekend is here! Going to a 12 step meeting tomorrow. Not as apprehensive about it as I was on Tuesday going to my first meeting. I really think attending 12 step meetings is going to make a massive difference in my recovery work. As for tonight, sometimes one can feel tired and exhausted on Friday night. It's important to remember that relaxation and well being takes time. If you try to use artificial means to suddenly relax such as alchohol, drugs or the addiction I struggle with (sex and love addiction) then you pay a hefty price for rushing things.

RR 100%
3 days sober.

Feeling run down and tired with a splitting headache at this moment in time, I think due to going work building up over the week. Work is tedious at the moment, that's how I'm finding it.

Exchanged a couple of calls with people I met at the meeting and planning to go to another meeting on Saturday. Hopefully after a good sleep on Fri and Sat night and no work on Saturday I will be feeling more refreshed on Sunday/Monday morning. Most important thing is staying sober.

Did not make an entry in this yesterday. Great news is though I went to a 12 step meeting yesterday for sex and love addiction. I got back late from this and had an early start to went straight to bed. The meeting was really positive though and I think if I keep going to them it will help me massively, not just to end my destructive addictive acting out but I will also be happier during times when I am single and don't have a girlfriend. I mean that in the sense that there have been times in the past, and times in the present that I feel unhappy or incomplete some how, or that I "need" a girlfriend or partner and if I keep going to meetings I can be happy regardless.

RR 100%
2 days sober